Dealing With It
by Lady of the Phoenix
Summary: Reno, Rude, Tseng, Elena. All are Turks, and have two things in common. Turks all my push aside their emotions, and cope with what they do for a living. But how do they do this? This Story is about them, and how they deal with what they are.
1. Reno

Author's Note: This fic takes place slightly before Tseng's death over the black materia. It deals with how Turks deal with their emotions. This is completely opinion. Enjoy! With No further ado, here is:  
  
Dealing With It  
  
"Bless me father, for I have sinned... It has been a day since my last confession, these are my sins: I tortured and murdered three men after cutting out the tongues of their wives and children. I then set five to the building with the women and children tied up. All the while I was thinking about getting home and relaxing. I stole a motorcycle and killed its owner... I am sorry for these and all my sins."  
  
"My son, this if the fifth time this week you've come to me with such things. I begin to wonder if you are truly sorry. Still, I absolve you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen."  
  
"It is how I live father. Shinra is a cruel master in ways."  
  
"Care to tell me about it?"  
  
"I would but then I'd have to kill you."  
  
"Tell me your worries my son."  
  
"I worry about so much. When I go into work I know I'll be told to kill or torture or do other such things but it doesn't bother me. I mean it is what I'm trained to do, it's my job. Kill or be killed. Yet this is not something I fear or hate... I love it."  
  
"Oh dear... That is not good."  
  
"I know father, but sadly, you've heard too much..."  
  
"I would not speak of it to anyone."  
  
"Can't take that chance... May the Lord keep your soul."  
  
Then all there was was the smoking gun in the Turk's hand, and the blood pouring from the priests head. Death had been the only choice. No one could ever consider a Turk weak. He'd have to find a new church now, a new place to confess his sins. Oh well, more priests died that way. The Turk tossed the gun onto the body and turned away. This sin would wait for a while.  
  
All was silent as he strolled over to the candle stands, and lit a large, blood red candle. As the flame leapt up and burned brightly, he turned away, shoving his fists into his pockets. While he strolled down the aisle, his shoes clicked softly against the marble floor, breaking the solemn silence. With both hands he pushed open the church doors and stepped out into the pouring rain. Reno Fletcher flipped his collar up, sighed and strolled down the streets of Midgar towards his apartment. Nobody else was on the street, the sound of the gunshot in the church doing well to scare them off. 'Rain,' he thought, 'it washes away our sins in a way little else can.'  
  
They said there was no sin greater than Reno's destruction of Sector 7. They said that nothing worse than Sephiroth destroying the world could happen. But those were the past and the future, which meant nothing to Reno. He preferred to think of the here, and the now. Here and now he was outside of his apartment, keys in hand and with the door opening. With a yawn, he tossed the keys into a bowl on the table by the door. Trying to remain silent, as to not wake his roommate, Reno tiptoed to the bathroom. Sometimes a hot shower could help him to burn the emotions from his flesh. Odd how such a simple thing could help him to cope with what he was, and deal with the fact that he could have no emotions. All Turks had a way to deal with what they did for a living, and a way to push aside the emotions they were discouraged from having.  
  
Once his shower was over, Reno crawled into his bed and wrapped his arms around the warm body beside him. There was a sigh, and the tense body relaxed. Reno noted how his lover was most relaxed when they were together. Sadly, this was one of the sins he was proud of. With a grin he pulled the larger body against his own, receiving an annoyed groan. Rude shifted to look at Reno as he woke.  
  
"Where have you been?" Rude asked, his voice slowly replaced with a yawn.  
  
"Same place," Reno said, burying his face between Rude's neck and shoulder.  
  
"One of these times you should come with me... This whole belief that what we do is a sin will only drive you mad Reno."  
  
'Is there anything better than a crazy Turk?' Reno thought and yawned. "Can we just go to sleep?"  
  
"Reno... did you shoot another priest?"  
  
"Yes I did..." he replied after a delay.  
  
"It's not a good way to deal with this... It shows anger," Rude said, wrapping him tighter in his arms.  
  
"And Turk's aren't supposed to have emotions..." Reno said with a sigh. 


	2. Rude Original

Author's Notes: Ah Ktrenal, thanks. I hope you weren't the only one to read this. I have to admit that in a week I've banged out a chapter for Reyning Down, Dealing With It and two new fanfics. How do I do it when you can't even update regularly dude? Yeah I used Fletcher! It rocks! Less detail here, because though I can get well into Rude I've never dealt with shrinks so I'm guessing here. I might rewrite this eventually. So poke me away for that, I need to rework this.... And poke me for the fanfic I'm using you as an advisor on. Okay... I know Reno was funny last chapter but this one isn't... Just wait until you see how Elena deals with her problems.... Total Mary-Sue attack! Enjoy this little bit of Reno comedy that is included...

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Listen up you cruel bastard, you ask that one more time and I'm gonna shove this EMR so far up your fucking ass that it will electrocute your pea sized brain!" Reno growled, brandishing the EMR with deadly intention.

"Now now Reno, why do you want to do that?" the man said gently, his voice calm, undisturbed by the threat.

"YOU..." Reno growled, lunging forward.

"Reno, stop!" Rude hissed at the other Turk.

The red-head froze and looked back at his lover with a pout, "He deserves it!"

"He's not a priest," the quieter man pointed out with a chuckle, "He's my shrink, and I'd like it very much if you avoided killing shrinky."

The term got more of a rise out of the psychiatrist than threats could. Damien looked over the top of his quarter sized lenses at the bald Turk, a look of utter hatred upon his face. Reno knew that this man wasn't like his priests, and he could not kill this Shin-Ra employee for Rude's sake. On the other hand Rude was aware that his method of dealing with things couldn't help Reno.

"Mister Fletcher, maybe you should step out and let me speak with Rude for a moment..." Damien said, his tone angry.

At a nod from his lover, Reno left the bookshelf lined office. Carefully Rude stretched out on the long leather couch, staring at the ceiling. For ten minutes he laid there in silence, before tears filled his eyes. As he had learned from his time with Damien, he let himself cry.

"Why?" Damien questioned softly.

"I'm not better than the people that killed my family... I'm a murderer, a cutthroat, a thief," Rude wept.

"You keep too much inside Rude... I'll tell you something... You don't enjoy it, so you aren't like those people. You are capable of love Rude."

"Reno..." he mumbled lovingly, "He's the only thing I haven't messed up. He cares about me, honestly."

There was no response for the Turk drowning in his own sorrow.

"Excuse me?" a stiffly formal voice came from the doors.

"Yes?" Damien asked with a frown.

"Rude... We've got a job to do..." Tseng announced.

"Can you deal without him?"

"Well," Tseng began.

"I can go," Rude offered with a frown.

"Shrinks won't help you Rude," Tseng whispered to the Turk as they entered the hall, "You should try religion... Helps me..."

"I'm not good with priests," Rude smirked.


	3. Rude Revamp

Author's Notes: Well... Here is that re-vamp I left you with. That is all I gotta say other than, this fic is almost finished. Which means, you review and I can post the next chapter.

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Listen up you cruel bastard, you ask that question one more time and I'm gonna shove this fucking EMR so far up your fucking ass that it will electrocute your pea sized brain!" Reno growled, brandishing the weapon in question with deadly intention.

"Now Mister Fletcher, why do you want to do that?" the man said gently, his voice calm. Apparently he was undisturbed by the threat.

Reno growled and lunged forward, causing Rude to step in, "Reno stop!"

The red-head froze mid-lunge and looked at his lover, who had an iron grip on his arm. A juvenile pout reached Reno's face and he whined to Rude, "He deserves it."

"Reno," Rude said, very calm, "He's not a priest. He is my shrink. And I'd much appreciate it if you didn't kill shrinky, love."

The term got more of rise out of the physiatrist than Reno's threats had. Damien looked over the top of his quarter sized lenses at the bald Turk, a look of utter hatred on his face. The term was one Rude had given him when the then younger Turk had been forced to see him everyday. Back then Rude had wept daily and had almost gone and blown up Sector 3. Since the time that Rude had officially been put back on-call he'd met with the shrink one a week. Damien Lemure had spent much time with Rude like this, so he could instantly tell something was wrong. The brunette knew that Rude had not just brought Reno here as a friend, but as a crutch.

"Mister Fletcher, maybe you should step out and let me speak with Mister Urnar alone for a minute..." Damien said, much to Rude's hidden relief.

When Rude nodded to his lover, Reno left the comfortable office. At a nod from Damien, Rude stretched out on the long leather couch and stared at the ceiling. The Turk slowly collected his thoughts, trying not to feel uncomfortable.

"Was it the dream?" Damien asked cautiously.

"Yes... and no," Rude sighed and looked toward the man.

"Tell me."

"It starts with the fire, it always does. They are there, so horribly charred, and burned nearly beyond recognition. Then it started... The house was whole again, untouched. My family whole and happy. Then a flame appears, and I see myself in it, killing a child. Then another, this one with me poisoning a small mountain village. More come, showing all I've done as a Turk until all there is is the fire."

"... They said it, didn't they?"

"They blamed me for their deaths, blamed Shin-Ra. But I'm a fucking Turk, you know? I'm trained to react... So I shoot them! I murder them in cold blood... And when the fire is gone I spit on the ashes... I fuckin' LAUGH! Honestly, were you anyone else I'd say you were mental, but you're not. You just need to stop bottling it all up. You're not a monster, because you have emotions, like fear, sorrow, love..."

"Shut-up!" Rude growled.

"Rude, I've been here for you for over twenty-five years, don't go putting up that wall of yours!"

"I have to go... I have to get back to work..." With that Rude stood and headed toward the door. "Don't expect another appointment."

"Reno loves you, very much," Damien said softly, causing the Turk to freeze, "He told me as much at his recent psyche evaluation."

"Don't talk about him!"

"You keep him together. Ever since you started seeing him he's seemed more stable."

"SHUT-UP!" Rude roared, but Damien didn't listen, probably a big mistake.

"You are to him what he is to you, and more. He said he wanted you to tell him more things, that he couldn't stand you bottling everything up. Of course, he said that alcohol and a good fuck was a great way to handle the pain..."

The bald Turk smiled when Damien froze. The gun in his hand was aimed to be a fatal shot, if he chose to shoot. Damien took the hint and grew silent, but not for long. The shrink moved to his desk and opened a drawer. After sorting through the contents he moved to the furious Turk. Rude knew what the man held, having given it to him to hide. Damien forced Rude's paralyzed gun hand down and forced the velvet box into Rude's other hand.

"I checked; President Shin-Ra has just legalized it. I expect you back next week so we can deal with the added stress."

Rude nodded, feeling suddenly numb. He left the office, gun still out, and returned to the Turk Lounge. Reno was sitting there with Tseng, discussing some mission or another. Ignoring the PHS that rang in pocket he moved toward the two. It was probably Damien's secretary calling to let him know when he was scheduled, but he didn't care. Both of his superior Turks looked up when he stopped before them. Rude was so focused on keeping his cool as he kneeled before Reno that he didn't notice Elena escort Rufus into the office.

Everyone was looking at Rude oddly; Tseng was intrigued; Elena was over-joyed; Rufus was shocked; and Reno, he was embarrassed. Normally Rude kept his word to keep their relationship private. For once in his life it actually took so much effort for Rude to keep quiet, so he merely held the velvet box out to Reno. The red-head, to shocked to do anything else, opened the box and stared dumbly at the ring.

"Rude... I..." Reno said in shock.

"Don't speak Reno. I understand," Rude replied, looking away, pain etched in his features.

"Yes Rude, I would love to marry you," the answer was barely a whisper, but Rude heard it, "But why Rude? Do I really mean this much to you?"

"Yes, and so much more," the older man replied before standing and pulling Reno to his feet with him. Only a few things registered to the dark-skinned man now: the placing of the ring on Reno's left-middle finger; the pressing together of their bodies while they kissed; and the cheers, applause, and cat-calls of their celebrating friends.

"Reno," Rude whispered to his lover.  
  
"Yeah?"

"You're the only thing that makes me want to live. You give me reason. You're how I survive at night, through the pain and guilt. I love you so much Reno... I love you..."


	4. Tseng

Author's Notes: I love you all, I love this story, and I hate President Bush... And Rinoa... And Nobou's Leaving of Square-Enix! cries I love you Nobou, so I am dedicating this chapter to you, even though you don't know it. General disclaimers. I don't own Nobou Uematsu, but I love him and I wish he hadn't left. If I owned Square-Enix Aeris wouldn't have died because it made me cry, but Rufus wouldn't have either. Um... I DO own the ideas, even though I don't own everything. And I love my leviathan...

Whatever: Hmmm... anonymousness.

The Great Susinko: Wow... you read it all in ONE day. I'm amazed. Oy, sarcasm. Thanks. Hope you like it enough to read Of Princes And Paupers.

Ktrenal: I know you didn't review K-man, at least not here. I am NOT making a round here. Okay? Love you forever.

Now on to the story:

"Thanks Tseng," Rude mumbled as he straightened his tie.

"No problem," the Wutain smiled at his friend, "Besides, all of us needed time off."

"I mean... You got us a weeks-paid vacation, the best hotel suite in Wutai, and the Pagoda itself for our wedding. That is a lot!"

"It still have my methods," Tseng laughed as his nervous Turk paced the room.

"You'll be there right?" Rude asked, the man still nervous about it all.

"It would take a force of nature, or at least my father to keep me away. I have raised you two since you were barely teens, and I couldn't be happier for you."

"Thanks Tseng."

"I have to go get ready. Go make sure Reno isn't getting drunk."

"Yes sire Tseng."

So alone the rather stoic man slipped out of hotel and headed to the sacred mountains. He stood alone in the fire cave, staring at the flames that blacked his path. Those were simply handled by placing his mastered Leviathan summon in a slot near the flames that blocked his path. Few knew of this place, and only Tseng frequented it. In years long forgotten by his people, this was a sacred place, a place for ceremonies. Now Tseng would come here one every few months and draw strength from it.

The Turk moved through the caves to the oldest natural part, a place covered in ancient paintings and filled with old ritual objects. It was a shame that Shin-Ra had destroyed his culture, but Tseng could handle this alone. From the waist up he stripped his body before adding incense to a natural flame in the corner. The smoke filled the room and wrapped around Tseng as he knelt nearby, his eyes closed a moment as he prayed.

"Mighty Leviathan, lord of my soul and my ancestors, hear my plea. Recognize my words and come to me. Know my voice and speak through it. View my body's deeds and mark them as your will. See my heart and heal it. Fill my head and cleanse it. Devour my soul and by doing so restore it."

The smoke had now clouded the Turk's opened eyes and grew thick as fog. Water could be heard rushing like a river past him, but he did not move. Finally the Turk's stillness was rewarded and from the waters a serpentine being rose. The summon's head paused close to Tseng's and he could feel its breath on him.

"Why sssstill come when otherssss refussse?" the sea serpent asked, hissing his words.

"Because you are my power, my master."

"Good. Normally you would not be here for another two monthsssss Tsssseng. Sssssomething wrong my sssservant? Or have you had another near death exxperienccce?"

"It is Reno and Rude... They want me to wed them. I am too impure to do such a thing..."

"Ssssso you come to me early to be cleanssssed? Amasssing, and I thought a Turk asssking for my blessssingssss and power all thosssse yearsssss ago wasssss odd. You've come here regularly for over thirty-ssssix yearsssss ssso I may help you deal with your ssssstatissss, never onssssse underssstanding. How isssss my mossssst faithful ssssservant one that abandoned hisssssssssssss people?"

"I'm the only one who understands you, and still believes. Please, grant me this. Purify my for their sake, and so that when I return to Shin-Ra I can do so wholly, pure, ready to be a Turk."

"Fine... But I ssssssssensssssse you will never return here..."

With that the water rose up around Tseng and attempted to drown him in its power. Just as swiftly they retreated, their color now black or crimson.

"No go.... Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssee is I care."

"Thank you lord. I will return, despite your constant pessimism. You make me strong."


	5. Elena

Author's Notes: Nothing much here. Last chapter! Now I'm done!

The Great Susinko: twitch This IS a fic that is SUPPOSED to make you think about how the Turks deal with it!

Whatever: Yes, Tseng preformed the marriage ceremony.

ELENA

"Ugh! Imagine sending the Turks out for THAT little thing! What a waste! And look, my manicure is ruined!" the blonde whined, shoving her hands in front of Rude's face.

"Shesh Elena, if Rude weren't my husband I'd say he was your boyfriend. How do you really expect him to deal with that?" Reno teased as he sat himself in Rude's lap.

"Reno, you're just so cruel!" the whiny female said with a pout.

"And Rude loves him for it, so don't expect a chance," Tseng said from behind his desk, not wanting an argument.

"Whatever. And now look at my shirt! It's got blood on it! And my hair is singed by Reno's missed fire spell!"

"I didn't miss then," Reno chuckled.

"Oh!" the female grabbed a coffee cup and threw it at the redhead. Just as they all knew he would, Rude caught the mug and placed it back on the small table Elena had grabbed it from.

"Elena," Tseng said, not looking up, "We all know what you want, so just go."

Every big mission the blonde did this, finding something to complain about. By now they all knew that this was coming, so they were annoyed. Elena would go out, sell her entire wardrobe except her uniform, and buy a completely new one. Rude and Tseng figured, quite rightly, that Elena viewed her appearance as the only thing she controlled in her life. So, when she didn't like the Turk she was, she'd go out and do this, seemingly purging her system of evils, only to be corrupted again later.

"I need someone to carry my bags!" Elena said, a sweet smile on her face.

"Where is your normal guy?" Reno asked.

Elena looked away and frowned, "We just killed him..."

'Ah, so there is why she is doing this,' Tseng thought, 'I knew such a routine mission shouldn't bug her.'

"Don't look at me," Reno said with a smirk, "I've already got my hands full." And so he did, with Rude...

"Me too," Rude half whispered, half-groaned in pleasure when Reno ran his hands up the Turk's leg.

"Tsengy?" Elena asked optimistically.

"Fine... But I am NOT trying anything on!"

"You look great Tseng!" Elena chuckled as she blinded her boss with a flash of light.

"Elena!" he roared and tried to seize the camera.

"Nope!" she laughed and danced out of reach, snapping another picture.

For a moment the Turk leader stood there, hands on his hips and glaring. This did not have the desired effect and Elena merely fell to her knees by her stacks of new boxes and bags of clothes in laughter. The woman's plan had started simply, and Tseng hadn't expected it. First it was a pink manicure and pedicure, then his hair in a French braid. Yet now he towered over her in a hardly menacing way.

"You bitch!" Tseng swore, though happy that Elena's mood had improved.

Elena taunted him by waving one developed picture in front of his nose. Tseng tried to grab it but failed, Elena was just that much quicker than him. Fate was a cruel mistress. In addition to his pedicure, manicure and French braid, he wore an outfit she had chosen. The main part of his clothes was the hot pink go-go boots, mini-skirt, and halter top, coupled with a darker pink purse. On top of all of that she'd gotten him, somehow, into a thong, bra, pantyhose, bright pink lipstick and eye shadow. Finally she'd placed a red bow in his hair.

"You should wear that as your Halloween costume Tsengy!"

"I never dress-up for that stupid mandatory Shin-Ra Party. None of us really do."

"Oh come on, it will be fun!" Elena insisted.

"Fine..."

When Tseng came into Shin-Ra the next day many were snickering at him. He didn't know why until he went upstairs and entered the cafeteria for his morning coffee. Everywhere there were blown-up pictures of Tseng in the pink clothes, one posters reading 'Fear Tseng? Not anymore! Vote Reno Fletcher-Urnar for Halloween Prankster Prince, and Elena Ryan for Prankster Princess!'"

"..." Tseng turned around and head back to the elevator. By the end of the day he'd be the only Turk left standing.

Fin


End file.
